Chaotic Prose

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In Chaotic Prose, everybody writes the stories. Nobody knows (not even me) who writes which parts. It's all completely anonymous.

There are a few ground rules that I want everybody to observe:

  1. Please keep each contribution short (one or two paragraphs at most).
  2. Please don't post two contributions in a row to the same story. After you add to a story, wait till somebody else adds to that story before you jump in again.
  3. This page is for narrative fiction only. Please do not start a new "story" that's not really a story. This page is not a debate forum, for example. I will delete any such non-stories.
Other than that, anything goes. Be as serious or as silly as you want. You don't have to be a writer to participate in Chaotic Prose. Nobody cares about your grammar or spelling mistakes, nor any inconsistencies you might introduce into a story. It's anonymous, and it's supposed to be wacky.

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Story List

It's Good to Be Me

So there I was, hanging from a thin horizontal steel pole, high above the canyon floor. My hands were sweaty and my grip was starting to give. How did I end up in such a situation? Well, I'm glad you asked. Oh, did I mention that several knives were flying towards me at high speed?

But anyway, it all started
back in 'nam with my friend Charlie. Now don't go getting all confused. His name was Charlie, an unfortunate coincidence that will make all the difference to the end of my story. So anyway, Charlie and I were walking down the main path of his village, going out for some ice cream. ICE CREAM! When, suddenly, a rabbit hopped in front of us, said, "Hey, fellas, I like your style!" and began to dance in a tiny circle. But he wasn't really dancing, he was struggling to stay up. It seems that his left foot was missing. That would explain the circles.

I looked at Charlie, who stared at the rabbit as if there was nothing else to see in the world. So yes, he had seen it too. I thought this would be the WORST POSSIBLE TIME to ask Charlie where he got that lucky rabbit foot of his.

Charlie then noticed me looking at him and said
"WHAAAAAAAT?!?!" "Take it easy, Charlie!" I said. "I'm not accusing you of anything. Besides, I'm glad I'm not hallucinating. I mean, you DO see that rabbit, right?"

"Yes. In fact, we've met. Brian, say hello to Mr. Carrots."

The rabbit offered me his paw and said, "Put 'er there, Mr. Carrots!"

"Hello, Brian," I responded, reaching my left hand toward the rabbit. Only after I had begun my motion did I realize that I was reaching for the missing paw. I tried to cover, but
Brian opened his furry little mouth to reveal a golf ball. I was a bit taken aback, I'll admit it. I stood there, my left hand partially extended, looking at a rabbit with a golf ball in his mouth.

Brian reared his furry little head back and breathed in audibly through his nose,
and "thhhhhhhhhhOOOOO!" out flew the golf ball, along with a tennis ball, a baseball, and two ping pong balls. He coughed a few times, shook his head, and then sneezed out a goddamn rhinoceros.

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